The Surrogate Matching Process: A Step-by-Step Guide

Matching is the stage where a surrogacy agency pairs you with intended parents. It comes after the agency's screening and before the legal contract, the fertility clinic's medical clearance and the embryo transfer. In practice it runs in five steps: your profile goes to a matching coordinator, you review an intended parent profile, you meet them, you both confirm, and then legal review and clinic clearance follow. From a completed profile to a transfer, the whole stretch commonly takes an estimated three to six months, and it can take longer.

If you are reading this before mentioning surrogacy to your partner or family, that is a sensible order to do things in. Matching is the part of the process that involves other people most directly: who they are, how much contact you will have, and what you agree on before anything medical happens. Knowing how it works makes it easier to judge whether the rest of the commitment fits your life.

Surrogate Compass is an independent platform, not an agency. We help you understand whether you may qualify, how the process runs and which kind of programme might suit you, and we connect you with agencies. The agency is the party that screens you, presents matches, and works through the contract with you. Nothing on this page means you have been accepted or matched by anyone.

Before Matching Begins: What Is Typically in Place First

Matching is not the first step. No agency will present your profile to intended parents until you have been through its intake and screening, and each of those stages is decided by the agency or its medical and mental health reviewers, not by you and not by this site.

The usual prerequisites:

• Application and intake review. You complete the agency's application and a coordinator reviews it. The surrogate application process covers this stage in detail.
• Medical records review. The agency looks at your reproductive history, prior deliveries, BMI and current medications. Criteria vary by agency. Many look for at least one prior uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery and a BMI within a stated range, but the exact limits differ, and a physician reviewing your records makes the medical call. The common ranges are set out in surrogate requirements.
• Psychological evaluation. An independent mental health professional typically meets with you, and sometimes your partner, to discuss your support system, motivations and readiness.
• Background check. Usually a criminal history review, and often a financial review. Some agencies extend this to adults in your household.
• Home visit or home study. Some agencies require one. Others do not.
• Your surrogate profile. This usually includes a personal statement, family photos and answers to matching preference questions: how much contact you want, your views on multiples and on termination or selective reduction, and how far you are willing to travel.

Passing preliminary screening is not the same as being approved. Medical and psychological clearance are separate gates, and the fertility clinic runs its own evaluation later. The surrogate screening process explains each one.

Estimated timeline for this phase: several weeks to a few months. The biggest variables are how quickly your medical records arrive and how quickly you return paperwork.

Step 1: Your Profile Goes to the Agency's Matching Coordinator

Once the agency clears you to match, your profile goes to its matching coordinator. This is a member of the agency's own staff, not a separate service.

Agencies keep a pool of intended parents who are waiting for a surrogate. Some of them wait months, because they are looking for a specific fit. The coordinator compares your profile against theirs, looking at:

• Location. Some intended parents prefer a surrogate near their clinic or their home.
• Openness to multiples. Whether you would carry twins if two embryos were transferred or an embryo split.
• Views on selective reduction and termination. This is one of the most important alignment points.
• Contact during pregnancy. Weekly texts, attendance at appointments, or something lighter.
• The relationship after birth. Ongoing contact, occasional updates, or a clean close.

Your stated preferences carry real weight, but they are not guarantees. The coordinator is balancing what both sides want. Some agencies use a database or matching software, while others rely on the coordinator's judgment, and both approaches are common.

You will not usually be handed a large set of profiles to browse. The agency presents a short, curated selection, often one at a time.

Step 2: Reviewing an Intended Parent Profile

When the coordinator finds a potential match, you receive the intended parents' profile. It typically includes:

• A personal statement in their own words
• Their family background and who is in their household
• Why they are pursuing surrogacy
• A summary of relevant medical history, such as how their embryos were created
• Their preferences for contact and for the relationship during and after the pregnancy

You are not obligated to accept the first profile you see. If it does not feel right, you can decline and the agency keeps searching.

While you read a profile, a few questions tend to matter most. How much contact do you want during the pregnancy, at the birth, and afterwards? Are your views on selective reduction and termination after a serious fetal diagnosis compatible with theirs? Would any travel they expect actually work with your job and your family? Some agencies give you a checklist or a set of guided questions to work through.

Expect some confidentiality at this stage. Full legal names, home addresses and other identifying details are often withheld until both sides have said they are interested.

Step 3: The Match Meeting

If you and the intended parents are both interested, the agency sets up a match meeting. It goes by other names too, such as a match call.

Format. Usually a video or phone call, sometimes in person. An agency coordinator typically facilitates and keeps the conversation moving.

Who is there. You, often your partner or spouse, the intended parents, and the coordinator.

What it covers. Common topics include how often you will be in touch during the pregnancy, who will be in the delivery room, views on selective reduction, and what the relationship will look like after the birth. Both sides ask questions. Part of the point is simply hearing how the other people communicate.

This is not a job interview. You are assessing them as much as they are assessing you.

After the meeting, you and the intended parents each tell the agency separately whether you want to go ahead. Neither side should feel pressured. If either side declines, the coordinator goes back to searching. This is normal and does not count against you.

Step 4: Confirming the Match and Beginning Legal Review

When both sides say yes, the agency typically confirms the match in writing. Then the legal stage begins, and it has to finish before any medical procedure starts.

Separate attorneys. You and the intended parents each work with your own independent attorney. You do not share counsel. This is standard practice and protects both sides. Your attorney reviews the gestational surrogacy agreement (GSA) on your behalf and negotiates terms with the intended parents' attorney.

What the agreement covers. The GSA sets out compensation and reimbursements, medical decision-making, contact expectations, insurance arrangements, and parental rights. Compensation terms are whatever this contract sets out, and they vary by programme and by arrangement. Items such as life insurance, lost-wage cover or childcare during appointments are negotiated terms, not things every contract includes. Ask your attorney what is in yours and what is missing.

Who pays your attorney. In many arrangements the intended parents cover your attorney's fees, but whether yours does is a contract term. Ask, and confirm it in the agreement.

California specifics. If your arrangement is governed by California law, California Family Code § 7960 et seq. applies to gestational surrogacy agreements. Under § 7962, the agreement must be in writing, the surrogate and the intended parents must each be represented by separate independent attorneys, and the agreement must be executed before medical procedures begin, other than the evaluations used to decide eligibility. California law also allows a parentage judgment, commonly called a pre-birth order (PBO), to be sought before delivery to establish the intended parents' parental rights. That step is usually started during this legal phase. These rules are California's. Surrogacy law differs widely from state to state, and some states are restrictive or hostile toward compensated gestational surrogacy, so the law that applies to your arrangement is a question for your own attorney.

Estimated timing. Legal review and negotiation commonly take several weeks. Medication and transfer cannot begin until the contract is fully signed.

Step 5: Medical Clearance at the Fertility Clinic

The intended parents' fertility clinic runs its own medical evaluation of you. It is separate from the agency's screening, and the clinic makes its own decision.

The evaluation typically includes:

• A uterine assessment, often a sonohysterogram (saline ultrasound) or a hysteroscopy, to check the shape and lining of the uterus
• Infectious disease screening through bloodwork, sometimes for your partner as well
• A review of your obstetric history, including past deliveries and any complications
• A review of your current medications and how they would interact with the transfer protocol

A surrogate who passed agency screening can still be declined by the clinic. If that happens, the match may be dissolved and the process restarts with a new match. The surrogate medical screening guide covers this evaluation in more depth.

Once you are medically cleared and the contract is signed, the clinic starts you on its medication protocol to prepare your uterus for transfer. This is physically demanding and worth knowing about now. Protocols vary by clinic, but they commonly involve several weeks of hormone medication, often estrogen and progesterone, with some given by daily injection. They also involve regular monitoring appointments for bloodwork and ultrasounds, which may mean early mornings, time off work, or travel. Progesterone support often continues for some weeks after a positive pregnancy test. Your clinic explains its own protocol, and decisions about medication belong to its physicians.

Estimated timing from match confirmation to transfer: two to four months, depending on legal and medical scheduling.

How Long Does the Matching Process Take?

Every journey differs, so treat these figures as estimates, not commitments.

The wait for a first match depends on:

• Where you live. Some intended parents want a surrogate near their clinic.
• How flexible your preferences are. Openness to twins, to international intended parents or to LGBTQ+ families can widen the pool of potential matches.
• The agency's current pool. It changes month to month.

Delays later on usually come from contract negotiation, slow medical records, clinic scheduling or a failed cycle check. A longer wait does not mean something is wrong with your profile. The wider surrogacy process for surrogates shows how matching fits into the full timeline through delivery.

What Happens If a Match Doesn't Work Out

Matches do fall through, and the reasons are usually ordinary.

• After the match meeting. Either side can decline. This is expected, and the agency handles it without pressure.
• During legal review. If the two sides cannot agree on contract terms, such as contact expectations or a specific clause, the match can end before signing.
• At the clinic. A medical decision by the fertility clinic can stop a match from going ahead.

In each case you go back into the agency's matching pool, and your profile is not penalised. Some surrogates go through two or three match presentations before finding the right fit. That is not unusual.

The agency's job is to support you through this stage, not to push you into a match that does not feel right. If an agency is applying pressure, that is useful information about the agency.

Questions Worth Asking Before You Say Yes to a Match

These are considerations to think through, not a formal checklist. Your agency coordinator can help you work through them.

• Contact during the pregnancy. How much do you want, and does it match what the intended parents expect?
• Selective reduction and termination. Are you comfortable with their views if there is a serious fetal diagnosis? This needs to be aligned before the contract is signed, because the contract will address it.
• Travel. Is travel to a clinic in another city or state likely for monitoring or transfer? How would that work with your job, childcare and your partner's schedule?
• Communication. Do the intended parents have their own coordinator or case manager, or will everything run through the agency?
• Comfort. Do you feel able to talk openly with these people for the next year or more?
• After the birth. What does each side picture for the relationship afterwards, and are those pictures compatible?

Preparing for matching mostly means getting clear on your own answers before a profile arrives. It also means telling your partner, if you have one, early enough that they can take part in the match meeting.

Your Next Step

Surrogate Compass offers a free eligibility review with no obligation for those seeking a clearer read on their own situation before approaching an agency. The review looks at your age, pregnancy and delivery history, health and location, and the other criteria programmes commonly use before they will match a surrogate. It shows whether your situation looks likely to meet those common criteria. It is not approval. Agencies and clinics run their own screening, and a physician decides on medical clearance.

When you are ready, contact Surrogate Compass to request your free eligibility review. There is no deadline, and you can come back whenever it suits you.